Day 37 — My new BFF

 

Well . . .  it’s Hump Day and I feel great!  Staying on track, eating the right foods, and working out will do that to you.  Makes me wonder why I put myself through all of the misery.   When I fall off the wagon . . . so to speak, I always wind up feeling crummy.  Why is it as humans we can’t seem to learn? 

A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned my newest weight loss gadget, the latest in fitness jewelry.  

I call it Bernie.  Bernie is good about keeping up with me . . .  counting my steps.  Right off the bat, he recommended 10,000 steps.  I decided to start out at 5,000 which was a good thing because most days I only did about 3,000.  This week I’m up to 6,000 and most days I go over that.  Next week, I’ll go for 6500.  It’s making me think maybe I will shoot for a 5K in a couple of months.  

Bernie keeps up with my calorie counts . . .  when I actually do enter the foods I eat.  Lol!  I am now much better about it, so he keeps up with what I put in my mouth. 

He sleeps with me and tells me how I’m doing . . . sleep that is.  Surprisingly, I’ve found I don’t sleep very well.  I’m in bed in plenty of time, but I don’t sleep the whole night. For instance, I may be in bed for seven hours, but I may actually only sleep five or six hours, with only three or four of that in deep sleep.  He tells me I wake up four or five times a night.  

This was hard for me to believe, so I experimented by letting Bernie sleep with my husband. That sounds kind of funny, anyway . . . they did and it showed that while he may come to bed later than me, he actually has a deeper sleep than I do.  No wonder some days I wake up exhausted! 

And . . . Bernie is a busy body.  Take for instance, this morning he left me a message that said, “Recently, you’ve been going to bed late, so get in bed by 11:09pm tonight?”  Seriously dude!  

He comes up with strange stuff like, ‘A student survey where students were asked to write about love or jealousy, then drink water.  Those drunk on love thought that plain water tasted sweet.’, and did you know the typical woman sleeps with two pillows, while the typical man sleeps with one? 

He does have some pretty good advice on food and exercise, plus he offers up Pearls of Wisdom like ‘Fall down seven times and stand up eight.’, and ‘It’s never too late. Get up and start again.  Today is a new day.‘ 

All in all, Bernie has been a good thing, he’s my new BFF.  He has held me accountable, and just having him with me has made me more aware of my activities.  This may be the first weight loss gadget that was worth the money.  

Also . . . before I forget . . . Friday I am giving away my book ‘Rose Field’ for free on Amazon.  It’s a sweet story about love, baseball and second chances.  You can download it Friday at: http://www.amazon.com/Rose-Field-Book-ebook/dp/B00JDVQI2Q/ref=la_B00JGI9L8Y_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1410360800&sr=1-1

Until next time, 

C. Rae Lane

Craelane.com

Day One — Baby Steps

 

Day One. It’s an exciting new day filled with promise. Yea, right! Maybe, not so much.

In the beginning I tell myself ‘You’ve got this. You can do this!’ And, I can . . . I’ve been here before. Many times.

From the start, the thought of this journey seems exciting until the first second and then I start thinking about all of the foods I’m going to miss out on. But, I will continue to tell myself I can do this . . . and I can. I have walked this walk before.

First things first, I know I have to endure the day. Not just get through it, endure it. Tolerate it. Suffer through it.

I’m won’t be writing about what I’ve eaten, counting calories and all that. I don’t need to bore everyone with the details. It’s about the journey. The choices. The discovery. The results. I’ll take Baby Steps.

In the beginning . . . Day 1 . . . Week 1 . . . My plan is to cut back. I don’t want to feel deprived. From the get go, I don’t want to feel discouraged and begin to beat myself up. Baby Steps.

First thing this morning, I took immediate action. I weighed myself (I won’t be posting that information just yet). I took my measurements (twelve different areas). I plan on weighing and measuring myself twice a month. I’m thinking the first and fifteenth. I’ll report my results here. In the past, measuring has told me more about myself than weighing. For me personally, weighing can be very disappointing, especially when you’ve worked hard and there is nothing . . . absolutely nothing to show for it. I have always seen positive results in measurements. It seems like I can actually see my body begin to melt away. This one single thing, has always helped me stay on track. I just have to make it to the 15th. I can do this! I can do this! Baby Steps.

In taking baby steps . . . this week I’ll cut back on bread and sugar. I’m not counting calories . . . yet. Baby steps.

I won’t be doing the E word (exercise) this week. I’ll start doing something next week. Maybe a short walk. Baby Steps.

So, here I am at the end of the day and I feel pretty good. I feel like I’ve made progress. I cut back, but I wasn’t radical about it. I was just more conscious about what I put in my mouth. I worked a full day and went to a baseball game this evening and I didn’t eat the buttery popcorn. Yea me!!! Baby Step.

Right not, I’m at the time of day, that personally is the hardest for me. I’m a night owl and it’s late at night when the craving demons come out of the woodwork and torment me. They haunt me. If you haven’t experienced this, you won’t understand it. But, if you have . . . you know it can be murder.

I’ve never had an addiction to drugs, tobacco, etc., but from what I’ve heard about withdrawals from those substances, it can be painful, torturous, and feel like you’re going out of your mind. Sounds a lot like what I experience going on a diet and coming off of my food addiction. The thing is most addicts who kick their habits can live without the substances that caused their addiction in the first place, but you can’t live without food. People can’t live without food or water.

I will somehow conquer this problem and learn how to live with this curse . . . this addiction. I am determined to see my way through. Today was a good day. I endured and conquered it. I plan on waking up in the morning and tackling another day. Baby Steps.

Until next time,

C. Rae Lane

SO . . . Done With Being the Fat Girl.

I am so fed up with myself! I am tired of being the Fat Girl. Any one that has been in my shoes, has more than likely felt the same way at one time or another.

Today, I am embarking on a new journey. One, I’ve been on many . . . many times before. This trip is not new to me. It is a quest to once again try and lose weight. Hopefully, for the last time. I have lost weight many times before, and soon after, gain most or all of it back. A vicious cycle.

So . . . I find myself asking the question . . . why do I try? Why can’t I be happy where I am? Is it because, everywhere you look, life caters to the thin and beautiful? No . . . I think for me, it’s much more than that.

In my soul searching, I find several answers. First of all, I am a very happy and contented woman. But, I want to live the rest of my life feeling good about the person I see in the mirror. And, not only feeling good about myself, but feeling energetic and alive. I want to be the best I can be, and I want to achieve this without feeling like I’m on a ‘diet’.

The most important answer is I found is, I’m doing this for me!

A little more about me . . .

I’m a Wife – It doesn’t matter what size I am, my husband is my biggest supporter and cheerleader. He’s seen me fluffy and thin, and still loves me. I want to be the best I can be for him. Looking younger and sexy, would be a definite plus.

I’m a Mother — While my children are grown and gone, I still want to live a long, healthy life where I can watch them grow and succeed in their own lives.

I’m a Grandmother – Grandmas are supposed to grow old, sitting in a rocking chair, with the   grand babies play at their feet? And, one day I’ll do that, but for now I want to run and play with them. Watch them grow up. Go to college. Get married. Have children of their own.

I’m a Writer – Recently, I’ve found the extra weight and even some of the foods I eat contribute to my lack of mental energy and stamina. I’m hoping this journey will help me to stay more focused and gain the energy to sustain long, creative writing stretches.

I have a pretty good sized bucket list of things I want to do. Many of these things are going to take a lot of determination and energy to accomplish. If . . . I’m having trouble breathing now, I’m gonna play heck scuba diving one day. If . . . I don’t have the oomph to walk across the street, odds are I’ll never finish the marathon on my list.

First things first. I am going to take this journey, one day at a time. I want to learn what works best for me without feeling like I’m depriving myself. Something I can live with for the rest of my life.

I know I can take the weight off. I always have before. But, the problem is, how in the world do I keep it off? That is the real question.

Okay . . . I’ll admit it, I’m addicted to food. I absolutely love food, but how do I harness the addiction beast? In the past, once I got off of a diet and started eating again, I was like a drunken sailor on a weekend leave. It seemed like no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t seem to get enough food. It didn’t matter what it was. Salad. French fries. Cake. Ice Cream. It didn’t matter what it was, I couldn’t get enough of it.

So . . . here’s my plan. I’m going to write a blog about it. Sort of like a journal . . . a diary of my experience. It will be about what I’ve learned along the way. If in the process, I can help others by sharing this journey, it would be a blessing. Maybe, others will share their experiences here as well.

So. . . . Here’s to me. And if you’re joining me . . . Here’s to US!

Until next time,

C. Rae Lane

 

Looking for a great summer read, where Love and Baseball are a real Home Run?  Then check out my book, Rose Field.